Throughout our lives we have numerous opportunities to build relationships with others. From the casual acquaintance to the close friend; from the passionate lover to the deeply affectionate significant other. Often we take such relationships for granted, and just as often we fail to notice those to whom we think or feel ourselves close to in their times of need.

A significant amount of research has shown that women are, generally, more adept at not only making and maintaining close relationships, but also in attempting to ensure their friends’ needs are met than are men. To an extent this may be due to the ease with which women generally speak of emotions and thoughts with others as compared to the seeming taboo on such conversations among men. In light of such thoughts the above statement could be a primarily male concept, nonetheless it is something I have noticed.

In general we also fail to evaluate what we want or need out of any relationships except for those to whom we choose to pursue an intimate relationship with. Consider this an open letter, an intimate glimpse into my mind and thoughts on the subject, and in some ways a challenge to everyone to consider what they are to those around them:

I generally do not write purely personal letters, and yet I feel compelled to do so whilst in the midst of examining my life thus far. I miss, dearly, the closeness of good friends with whom I felt anything could be shared. I miss the companionship of a loved one. Above all, though, I miss the support of knowing that there was someone there whom I could lean on for support without having to utter a word. The knowledge that there were those around me who would do anything and everything possible for me if only I would ask, just as I would for them.

I feel increasingly alienated from those around me. Whether an actual alienation or the mere realization that I long for a partner to share my life with and to provide that type of support that other friends simply cannot provide is difficult to discern, just as difficulty lies in determining whether this is born exclusively from my thoughts, actions, and emotions or influenced by others around me. Regardless, there is certainly something missing from my life even in the midst of so many positive changes, and I realize it to be a type of friendship, a type of relationship, that I do not currently possess.

In essence, I understand that while I value my friendships I also recognize that something is missing that cannot be obtained without either further developing an existing relationship or forming a new one. It is in this area that I seem to be either incapable at the moment, or merely incompetent in general.

This is, certainly, not an appeal to anyone to look differently upon me. It is, instead, an appeal to everyone to think of your friends, your acquaintances, your family, and, if applicable, your significant other, and to remember not to take them for granted. To look at them and recognize all of the things they do for you, and to understand and appreciate their sincerity and love. Without them, after all, life would not be much of a pleasant experience.

On the other side, look at those whom you call friends yet have no reason to. Are you simply associated with them for no reason other than convenience? Are you potentially misleading them, whether intentionally or not, into believing you are there for their support when you would rather not be burdened by their thoughts? I challenge you to be open and honest, and in doing so resolve to either truly become a friend to them or sever ties instead of hiding behind a facade.

Obviously such a challenge could not be issued without taking my own advice, and therefore I intend to do exactly that. I opened this letter with statements surrounding what I miss, and what I long for. I would be remiss in not acknowledging what I am grateful for as well, and in all honesty that can be summed up in seemingly few words: concern for me, laughter, and simply enjoying the company of those whom I am proud to consider friends. While you all may not provide me with quite the type of relationship I realize is missing in my life at the moment, I am sincerely grateful, and happy, to have those relationships we do have.

I may still take you for granted on occasion, and you may still do the same to me. I hope, though, that each of us will keep in mind just how much all of our relationships truly mean to each other.

- Jesse