family
noun ( pl. -lies)

1. [treated as sing. or pl. ] a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.
• a group of people related to one another by blood or marriage : friends and family can provide support.
• a person or people related to one and so to be treated with a special loyalty or intimacy : I could not turn him away, for he was family.
2. all the descendants of a common ancestor : the house has been owned by the same family for 300 years.

Note: The above definition is slightly modified by removing the other uses of family that do not pertain to kinship or relationships, and is taken from the Mac OSX dictionary.

We define family in a number of ways, and even subdivide the family into the “family of origin,” the “family of procreation,” the nuclear family, the extended family, the traditional family… and the list goes on. By applying a label to any type of relationship, however, we automatically introduce an innate bias that alters our perception of the question. Consider the following two questions and how the answers would differ:

• How do your relationships with your family affect you?
• How do your closest relationships affect you?

Chances are the answers to the two questions would prove to be very similar, yet the second question allows the mind greater flexibility in answering due to the lack of restricting one’s thoughts to be what the socially defined context of a family is supposed to represent. When taking into account what a family is supposed to do, however, the second question would, more often than not, yield more accurate results.

Consider the nature of “close relationships” for a moment. Is there any relationship that would not meet the characteristics of a familial relationship that would fit within the scope of a close relationship aside from ties by blood or marriage? Undoubtedly the answer is no. Why, then, do we fail to evaluate those close to us as family simply because of the lack of a traceable kinship?

Consider your perceived family as well. Are there relationships here that are not close? Of those are the people in question only considered family because of traceable ties of kinship? Chances are the answers to both are a resounding “yes.”

The logical conclusion is, quite simply, that the definition of “family” is antiquated at best, and illogical at worst. As a society we would all be better off asking ourselves how those closest to us affect our lives than to pigeonhole ourselves into subdividing friends and family simply due to kinship rules, especially when some friends should be considered family and some family should be considered nothing more than acquaintances at best.